It’s a regular commute for me Gouda to The Hague, always in the silent compartment. For those who don’t know, the silent compartment is a small sanctuary on Dutch trains, a space where the unspoken rule is simple: silence. No phone calls, no loud conversations, just the gentle hum of the train and the occasional rustle of a newspaper.
On this particular day, everything started as usual. I settled into my seat, opened my book, and let the rhythm of the train lull me into that comfortable, meditative state that only train travel can provide.
And then, it happened.
A loud conversation erupted a two seats away. Laughter, animated talk, the kind that carries over every other sound. I tried to ignore it at first, but with each passing minute, my irritation grew. I’m sure many of you know the feeling when someone else’s noise disrupts your peace, especially in a space specifically designed for quiet.
I kept quiet, though. Maybe out of politeness, maybe out of hesitation. But I wasn’t alone in my discomfort.
Soon, I noticed a woman sitting near me. She glanced my way, her eyes reflecting exactly what I was feeling. We didn’t speak, but our shared look said it all: “Why can’t people respect the rules?” She scanned the compartment, her gaze meeting others who were equally disturbed. There was a silent solidarity in that moment an unspoken agreement among strangers.
Then, an older lady, with the quiet confidence that comes with age, spoke up.
“Excuse me,” she said, her voice steady but firm, “could you please keep your voice down? This is the silent compartment.”
The man stopped talking. He turned pale, clearly taken aback.
After a moment, he asked, “Did you ask me to shut up because I don’t look like you?”
The question hung in the air, heavy and uncomfortable.
At that moment, I wanted to say so much. I wanted to tell him that it wasn’t about who he was, or what he looked like. It was about where he was, and what he was doing. The silent compartment isn’t a place for loud conversations, regardless of who you are. It’s a shared space where mutual respect and consideration are the only currencies that matter.
But I stayed quiet, watching as the old lady calmly explained that it was about the rules of the compartment, not about him personally.
This incident got me thinking about how often we jump to conclusions, especially in today’s world where issues of discrimination and racism are, rightly, at the forefront of public consciousness. These are serious issues that deserve our attention and action. But not every conflict, not every request for respect, is rooted in prejudice.
Sometimes, it’s simply about manners. About understanding the environment you’re in, and respecting the people around you.
When we use words like “discrimination” and “racism” in situations where they don’t apply, we risk diluting their meaning. These words carry immense weight. They represent real struggles, real pain, and real injustices. Using them carelessly can make it harder for genuine cases to be taken seriously.
It’s important to call out discrimination and racism when we see them. But it’s equally important to recognize when a situation is simply about respect and consideration.
Most of our problems whether on a train, at work, or in our personal lives could be resolved if we tried to see things from a different perspective. If we stepped back and looked at the situation from a bird’s eye view, we might realize that the issue isn’t as big or as personal as it seems.
In the case of the silent compartment, it’s not about who you are, but how you behave in a shared space. It’s about recognizing that your actions affect others, and that mutual respect makes life better for everyone.
Manners aren’t just old-fashioned rules. They’re the glue that holds society together. They’re about making sure that everyone feels comfortable and respected in shared spaces. Whether it’s a train compartment, a workplace, or a public park, being considerate of others is what allows us to coexist peacefully.
Respect isn’t about power or status. It’s about recognizing the humanity in others, and treating them the way you’d like to be treated.
The man on the train was quick to assume that the request for silence was about his identity. But the truth was much simpler: it was about the environment, the rules, and the comfort of everyone in that compartment.
If we all took a moment to look beyond our own point of view, to consider how our actions affect others, many of our daily conflicts would simply disappear.
The Silent Compartment as a Metaphor
In a way, the silent compartment is a metaphor for life. We all have our own journeys, our own thoughts, our own struggles. But we share spaces, resources, and moments with others. How we behave in those shared spaces defines not just our own experience, but the experience of everyone around us.
Respecting the rules of the silent compartment isn’t about stifling individuality. It’s about creating a space where everyone can find a moment of peace.
Next time you’re in a shared space whether it’s a train, a café, or a workplace take a moment to consider the people around you. Ask yourself: “Am I respecting the environment? Am I being considerate of others?”
Not every request for respect is an attack on your identity. Sometimes, it’s just a reminder to be mindful of the space you share with others.
And if you ever find yourself in the silent compartment, remember: silence is golden, but respect is priceless.
Author Annabellez 